I’ve dreamed about you a few times in the last decade. But none of those showed a happy you or a happy me.
But last night…last night was different. It was beautiful and magical in its awkwardness that it felt so real. It didn’t contain long conversations or happy laughs — things we never shared in real life. In my dream, you and I were walking almost silently, our minds trying to figure out why we’re even there, side by side. But we knew we were happy.
I wish I didn’t have to wake up.
It’s getting darker and scarier here.
Can You take me out?
How do we forgive?
We forgive by remembering the good
The nice and beautiful
Things. Acts. Words.
We forgive by remembering the bad
And accepting them all
We forgive by remembering the in-betweens
The words unspoken, unheard
The sobs taken for granted
The “all good” when it’s all bad
We forgive by remembering
That we too have fallen short
But were never denied of forgiveness.
We forgive by loving.
I’ve always loved sunrises. The way they create beautiful colours in the sky — the perfect blend of light and darkness as the sun gently pushes itself up. Sunrises used to be my reminder that everything’s going to be fine. That I’m going to be fine.
I never thought sunrises would ever create deep fear in me. The kind I have to endure every day.
I want to love sunrises again.
Or maybe, I can focus on sunsets for now. They, too, signify something beautiful and powerful.
What have I done to you, Self?
“There are so many tiny revolutions in a life, a million ways we have to circle around ourselves to grow and change and be okay.”